If you are reading this blog, you have my sympathies. It means that your ex (or soon-to-be ex) is giving you a hard time, and you do not deserve that. It could be that they are trying to get custody of your child or children. It could be that they are trying to say they don’t make any money, so they cannot give you any support. It could just be that they are intentionally trying to make your life miserable by following you around and watching everything you do to try and catch you on something. It’s not fair, and it’s not right. You do not deserve that. If you want to make them stop and need some advice, then you’ve come to the right place.
The first thing to keep in mind here is that you need to approach this legally. If you “stoop to their level,” it can and will possibly come back to be used against you, making the situation worse. I’ve seen this happen many times before. Remember, it is in THEIR best interest to bait you into reacting in the wrong way. Do not fall for it.
I had a client not too long ago in Utopia, Queens, that almost fell into that trap. She was being harassed by her ex because he wanted custody of the children. Not because he truly wanted them, but because he knew that SHE wanted them. They were her world. He would stalk her and constantly verbally insult her, trying to bait her into physically reacting so that he could use it against her and say she was abusive and it was not safe for the children to be with her. He also never did this by her house because he knew she had cameras and would catch the exchange on video. Fortunately, she was a very smart lady, and she came to us. We did what is referred to as “counter-surveillance.” In other words, we followed her and waited for him to show up and do his taunting. We followed her all over Queens and finally caught him in the act in Murray Hill. We got it all on camera several times on different days in places that he knew she would be going to. This proved that he was provoking her and harassing her. She took the information to the police and got a restraining order against him. We continued with the counter surveillance when she said he was still showing up. Once again, we caught him on camera, and she now had the evidence needed to have full custody and to press charges for not complying with the restraining order, which kept him away from her for good.
The thing to remember is that you are better than they are. If they are going to resort to “playing dirty,” do not get fooled into falling for it. That is what they want. Once you do, they will win. The object here is to help you to get what you deserve and for them to leave you alone. So you must remember to do it legally and to keep your cool no matter what. That is your best defense.
A while back, we had a different case in Prospect Park South, in Brooklyn, where the wife wanted to get full custody of the children, but the husband knew she was an alcoholic and did not want the children to grow up in that type of environment. So whenever she had custody, we would follow her and the children. Sure enough, during the third surveillance day, she stopped at a liquor store with the children on the way back to her residence. We watched them playing on the sidewalk in front of the apartment building and kept count of the numerous drinks she had as the very young children were playing. Whenever she went back into the building to refill her wine glass, the children were unsupervised. The last time it took over 10 minutes, which was when we called the husband and informed him. He came immediately and confronted her. She was very drunk at this point. So we recommended to the client that he not “just take the children home” but contact the necessary parties to tell them what was happening. Then when they arrived, he was then cleared to take them home. He now had everything he needed on camera to help him with the case, and the children are now safely in his full custody.
The point that I am trying to make is to not lose your cool and to do everything legally. Let us be your eyes and watch what is happening when they know you are not around. You will not only come out as the bigger person in this scenario, but you will also hopefully have the evidence you need to make the harassment stop altogether.
We have unfortunately had to help quite a few people over the years in this area and therefore have a great deal of experience. When you combine the legal representation of a lawyer along with our expertise, you have a much, much stronger chance of winning your case than if you do not and try to handle it yourself. Remember, we are not lawyers. Your lawyer is the one to tell you what you need and do not need in this situation. Then you will have us try to get that evidence for you. You need to remember that you are emotionally vested in this situation, and we are on your side. We may not be personally involved, but that is a good thing. We do not let our personal emotions get in the way of what needs to be accomplished, and therefore we can supply you with the “unbiased” results that you need to present to the authorities or a court if necessary.
The main thing to remember is to keep your cool. Remember, if you do, you are the bigger person in this scenario and can come out with the results that you want if you keep a level head and have us do the “spying” for you. All too often, we hear from clients and our colleagues about how someone tried to take care of a situation of taunting or verbal abuse on their own, only to let their emotions get in the way and turn a bad situation into a worse one.
We had a case in Connecticut where the person that hired us had an ex that kept following them around and showing up at her work and her house. Once again, we did counter surveillance to find out what was going on. As she predicted, he was indeed following her around. We tracked his vehicle from her home in Rocky Hill all the way to her work in Meriden. We observed him waiting there while she went inside. He left and returned at the end of the day and continued to watch as she got into her car and left. He followed her, and we followed him back to her home. He did this several times. It was enough for her to go to the police and prove what was happening. She already had a restraining order on him, and this was in clear violation. The police made a visit to his residence, and he stopped. So instead of confronting someone who could have been unstable, she was smart and let us get the proof for her and go to the police. Then the situation was taken care of.
The last scenario I will mention, because it comes up quite often, is when your ex wants to stop paying alimony or child support and claims they are no longer working. To an outsider (in other words, the court), they see someone that no longer has a “reported income” and is claiming to live with their parents as they no longer can afford to be on their own without a job. But when they pass you in a nice car and are seen around town at nice restaurants and new clothes, you know that is not the case. You also have heard the rumors that they are working off the books in Pomonok, Queens. So you hire us, and we do surveillance on his reported residence until we see them either coming or going. Then we get the make and model of the vehicle, and once we figure out the schedule, we have them. We follow them to their new “off the books” job, and once we establish that they go there often enough, you take the information to the court, and you have your proof.
While unfortunately, not every case is as easily taken care of, many can be if you keep a level head and allow the professionals to help you. We have been helping people with all types of situations for over 30 years, and we know our business. We also want to help you to have some closure in a difficult situation. Let us help you to put an end to this – legally. We would like to help you be able to get on with your life. Just let us know when you are ready to begin.
Investigreat, LLC is a recognized full service Private Investigation Agency that is fully licensed, insured and bonded, handling cases all over Connecticut as well as Queens NY, Brooklyn NY, Bronx NY, New York City, Staten Island and Long Island NY. Adam, along with his wife Terri, have been working cases for Legal Teams, Insurance Companies, Private Businesses, Municipalities, School Systems and general investigation services for the public since 1992.
Investigreat, LLC | Private Investigators serving Connecticut, Long Island City, Jamaica NY, Brooklyn NY and Queens NY | Office Numbers: 860-899-1710 or 718-412-1845 | Text: 718-309-1269