When you or your spouse are dealing with a serious health issue, either your own or someone close to you, it is never easy. You spend most of your waking moments concerned about the situation, and those closest to you are often supportive and understanding. You help each other through it. That’s how it is supposed to be in a relationship, especially a marriage. As the vows say – “for better or worse, in sickness and in health.”
When you have a strong relationship, to begin with, it is pretty much assumed that you and your spouse will go through this situation together and be supportive of one another. However, we have had some cases over the years where this proved not to be true. Sadly, a serious situation can test the relationship to the core, and if the core is not strong enough, one of the people in that relationship may turn to someone else during this time. I am not referring to leaning on a close friend or family member; I am referring to someone else to “be with them” in the romantic sense.
We have, as I mentioned, handled a few cases over the years where this was the case. The client is going through a very rough and medically serious situation. It is then that the person they thought would be there and they would console each other was instead going to someone else for that consolation. You do not deserve to be left alone when you need them the most. Then on top of dealing with a serious medical condition, you are now dealing with a cheating spouse. That is not right on many levels. Being cheated on under any circumstance is unacceptable, but now it is just a whole other level of unacceptable.
A few years ago, we handled a case for a woman with a medical condition that caused her to lose her hair. She was going through a lot – treatments, stress, doctor’s appointments, etc. She found that her husband was less available to help her during this time. She came to us when she happened to be returning from a doctor’s appointment and passed a house in Ramblersville, and saw her husband’s vehicle parked in the driveway. When he returned home that evening, she asked what he had been doing all day. He said, “I was at work. Why do you ask?” Her response was, “I thought I saw your vehicle parked at a strange house. He responded that she was imagining things and that it was not his vehicle. She thought about this for a while and then called us to find out what was really happening. Sadly, her instincts were correct, and she now had to make some hard decisions.
We had another situation where a client came to us and told us that he was going through chemotherapy and was concerned because his partner was suddenly never around. He was fearful that he was off with someone else because he was acting differently. So we followed his partner from his apartment in Tudor Village and followed him to a cafe in Little Egypt where he met with someone and had what appeared to be more than a platonic lunch. When we disclosed this to the client, he told us sadly that his partner told him that he could not bring him to his chemotherapy appointment because he could not get off from work that day, when in reality, he had taken the day off and told his boss that he had to bring his partner to his appointment.
When you or someone you love is going through a traumatic situation, be it medical or emotional, that is when your relationship is tested to its limits. That will either make you a stronger couple or reveal all the relationship’s flaws. Sadly, it is not always the one that is sick that is the victim. We had a case not too long ago where a woman was diagnosed with breast cancer. She went through a double mastectomy and chemotherapy treatments and was eventually able to go into remission. All that time, her husband was by her side. He never missed an appointment; he spent every moment by her side doing anything she asked. He was as devoted as they come. Then, he noticed that she was acting very strangely. He thought it was because of all she had gone through, so he did not read too much into it. She no longer wanted to be intimate or spend time together. She always had an excuse. When he asked where she was going one day, she told him she had started going to therapy. He was surprised by this but hoped it would help. He was suspicious when he suggested he go with her to meet the therapist, and she said no. She wanted to do this by herself. He called us, and we followed her to her “appointment” in Flushing. Needless to say, it was not a therapist that she was meeting, but another man. That was a very difficult meeting with our client. It broke my heart to tell him his worst fear was true. He did not deserve that after he had devoted himself to her. This was one of those rare cases where the person actually contacted us two years later to give us an update. He said that they had gotten a divorce, which his wife requested, and at first, it was very hard, but since then, he had met an amazing woman, and they were getting married later that year. He finally found the person he was meant to be with and thanked us for what we did.
Sometimes the one that seems distant is not cheating but just trying to figure out how to cope with what is going on. I had one situation where the couple had just lost a child. She worried he was cheating on her because he would disappear at set times during the week and not talk to her about it. We followed him during one of these times and found he was going to a support group. It turned out that the wife was adamantly against going to one, but he wanted to in order to help him deal with the emotional stress of what they were going through. So, in the end, they both agreed to go together. So do not lose faith. Sometimes things are not always as they appear.
While I would never wish for anyone to have to go through a serious medical or emotional situation, it is those extreme times that our relationships are tested the most. The strongest relationship will survive, and those not in a strong relationship, to begin with, may crumble. You will survive and perhaps go on to find the right person. But in the end, you need to know the truth and decide for yourself if your relationship is worth fighting for. Your time and your heart are precious. You don’t need to spend it on someone who does not deserve it. Sometimes, in order to have peace of mind, or to know how to proceed, (because contrary to what you are being told, it may not be “all in your head”), you first need answers. We would like to help you with that if we can. Just let us know if and when you are ready.
Investigreat, LLC is a recognized full service Private Investigation Agency that is fully licensed, insured and bonded, handling cases all over Connecticut as well as Queens NY, Brooklyn NY, Bronx NY, New York City, Staten Island and Long Island NY. Adam, along with his wife Terri , have been working cases for Legal Teams, Insurance Companies, Private Businesses, Municipalities, School Systems and general investigation services for the public since 1992.
Investigreat, LLC | Private Investigators serving Connecticut, Long Island City, Jamaica NY, Brooklyn NY and Queens NY | Office Numbers: 860-899-1710 or 718-412-1845 | Text: 718-309-1269