If you have just googled this question, then you have our sympathies. It is not a good feeling when you think that your spouse – the one that you have dedicated your life to and thought you would spend the rest of your life with – is cheating on you with someone else. Whether it is your husband or wife that you are concerned about, it hurts either way. Cheating is, for the most part, a lie wrapped up in an excuse. They claim it’s all in your head, that you are imagining things. They have a reasonable explanation for every question you raise. Let’s see if any of these sound familiar to you:
- The work excuse – while you are at home taking care of the children, he seems to be coming home late a lot more than he used to. When you ask him why, he just shrugs off your concern and says that someone is on vacation, or out sick and so he had to pick up the slack. But that person must either be terminally ill or taking a trip around the world because it’s been weeks (or months) and he is still coming home a lot later than he used to.
- The traffic excuse – she only works over the bridge in Hartford, and yet, at least twice a week she is noticeably late – like a couple of hours late. What could possibly be taking so long? And for it to be more than once a week? You don’t live that far away. She says it must be the traffic from an event at the Xfinity Theatre, but when you google it that night after she’s gone to bed, you see that there weren’t any events there that night.
- The Out With Some Co-Workers excuse – He never used to go out after work. He never mentioned any friends there and suddenly he has a weekly outing after work on a Friday night with them. Every Friday he tells you he will be late and don’t wait up. He claims he is just over in Rocky Hill at some sports bar, and yet he can never remember the name. This has been going on for months now, and yet you have never been invited to go with him. So you try to invite yourself along, but he shuts that down real quick. “It’s just the guys – no one is bringing their wives.” He swears he will make it up to you, but he can’t take you along.
- The “I’m Too Tired” excuse – Look, let’s not kid ourselves, we’ve all had nights where we just weren’t in the mood. We’ve had a rough day at work, didn’t sleep well the night before, and are tired from chasing the kids all day, yadda-yadda. But when it becomes an excuse night after night for weeks on end, when you used to have a pretty active sex life and suddenly the “heat” between you is barely lukewarm, it is another story altogether. Does she or he start fights for no reason? Do they always seem to be annoyed with you or do something that they know will get you “out of the mood” real quick? This is a big red flag that you should be aware of.
If they are being intimate with someone else, especially if it has been going on for a while, they may become no longer interested in you. They have focused more on the “new adventure” than the “well-known and well-used road” in life. It causes them to act differently, and when you see these signs, it is further proof that they are no longer being honest with you. Here are a few examples:
- Hiding their cell phone – is one of the most common things to watch for. If you’ve been together for a long time, and suddenly they feel the need to never let their phone out of their sight when they used to leave it all over the place, it’s a clue. Now do not misunderstand. If they have always been that way because of work, that’s one thing. However, if one minute they barely bothered with it and now out of the blue they never go anywhere without it (and they changed the code and won’t tell you what it is) that is a big red flag.
- They have suddenly changed their appearance – they are constantly working out over in the gym in Newington when before you could barely get him off the couch. Or she changed her hair and looks young and pretty – always wears makeup now where before she always had it up in a ponytail and barely wore eyeliner. Suddenly they are dressing better when they head out to “meet some friends for lunch”.
- He’s been spending a lot of time with his buddy from West Hartford – over there almost every week. Then one day you run into him at the Westfarms Mall. He says “Hey great to see you. How’s your husband? I haven’t seen him in ages. Tell him to give me a call sometime so we can get together. That’s about as big a flag as there can possibly be – with fireworks going off in the background.
We had a similar case to that one once. A guy told us his wife was spending a lot of time in Colchester with a friend because she was really sick. You thought she was being a good friend. Then one day he ran into that friend and came to find out she moved to Ellington a year ago. Wanted you to say hi to your wife and say it’s been too long and we should all go out to dinner sometime. Well, he was smart enough to call us before he confronted her.
Now I know your first instinct would be to confront them, but then they will just behave for a few weeks or months and it will take forever to find out what is really going on. The best thing you can do is not let on and continue along with the charade. Call us and we can follow your spouse (known as “surveillance”) and find out what is going on before they know they are being watched. We’ve caught many, many spouses with their proverbial pants down because our clients played it smart and didn’t let on that they knew. Instead, they hired us and we followed them to see what was going on. It could be that they really are working late or maybe, just maybe they aren’t working at all. Are they really out with friends or just one very special “friend”. Whatever they are up to, it is infinitely easier to find out if you don’t let on that you know.
But if you have let your emotions get the best of you, don’t worry. We have handled many difficult cases where the person is elusive. But sooner or later they get too sure of themselves and slip up just enough for us to catch them. We had one person that was really smooth. He never went near the “other woman” in public. Was a perfect gentleman. Made it look like they were just co-workers (which is what he told his wife). Then we followed when he walked her to her car. He looked around, saw no one, and WHAM! He went in for a hot kiss while she was in the car and he was outside leaning all the way in. Then she drove off and so did we – right to our client to show them the video.
All too often you are sitting home with your doubts and unanswered questions. We are here to help you find the real answers to those difficult questions so you can make an educated decision on what to do about them. You deserve to know the truth so you can do what you feel is right in this situation. You have done nothing to deserve this – to be treated this way. You deserve to be respected and told the truth. But if they won’t give it to you, then we will. Call us today to get started. We are on your side and we will make sure that you get the answers – and the proof – so you can do what you need to do. We are ready to start – are you?
Investigreat, LLC is a recognized full service Private Investigation Agency that is fully licensed, insured and bonded, handling cases all over Connecticut as well as Queens NY, Brooklyn NY, Bronx NY, New York City, Staten Island and Long Island NY. Terri, along with her husband Adam have been working cases for Legal Teams, Insurance Companies, Private Businesses, Municipalities, School Systems and general investigation services for the public since 1992.
Investigreat, LLC | Private Investigators serving Connecticut, Long Island City, Jamaica NY, Brooklyn NY and Queens NY | Office Numbers: 860-899-1710 or 718-412-1845 | Text: 718-309-1269