First, if you just opened this blog, allow me to offer my sincere condolences. It means that you have concerns and suspicions about the person that is most important in your life. It is not easy if you feel that your special person may not be as devoted to you as you are to them. Whether you have been together for 5 weeks or 50 years, if you are worried about their faithfulness, it still hurts.
But just because you have doubts does not mean that they are really cheating – or at least that is what you are probably telling yourself at this moment. So you need to confirm that you are either imagining things or that your worries are legitimate. So you need to get answers, and you came to this article to start finding them. Well, we want to help you with that, so let’s begin.
When you feel that your significant other is cheating, it is most often one of two reasons:
- You or someone you know saw/caught them when they didn’t know anyone was watching, or
- You have a feeling deep down in your gut that tells you something is not right.
While the first one is pretty much the best confirmation of the cheating occurring, it is not always 100%. Some situations may come across as questionable – especially when you hear it from someone else. Perhaps they observed, say, your husband or wife having lunch with someone that is not you at a restaurant in Brookville when they do not work or live near there. Just because they are eating with someone and having a few laughs does not mean there is “more to it”. But then again, if you didn’t know about it and they deny it, that is a red flag. Until you get confirmation something is actually happening, you do not know for sure. What you need is someone to watch them and see what happens next.
A gut feeling is a bit trickier to confirm depending upon the alleged cheater’s schedule, routine, and transportation. If you know that your spouse is a “creature of habit” and has somewhat of a standard routine, it is easy to notice when they have suddenly “broken the mold” of what their week looks like. For example, let’s say that they go to work in Broad Channel and leave at the same time and return at the same time every day. If they suddenly start “working late”, especially on certain days, and this starts to happen consistently, then the original routine has changed. This is a strong indicator that something could potentially happen on those days.
Either way, this is the time to hire a Private Investigator. However, before you do, you need to prepare the following in order to make your case both successful and cost-effective as much as possible. Here are some things that will help your PI do the best job possible in finding the answers you are trying to obtain:
- Keeping track of their routine
- Pay attention to their attire each day
- Take a photo of them and their vehicle (if applicable)
- Have addresses ready
- Have their email addresses and phone numbers ready
Keeping track of their routine is probably the most important single thing that you can do in order to make your case cost-effective. Surveillance is not cheap, and the less time a PI needs to take pinning down the right days and times to watch is crucial. Otherwise, you could hire someone that could spend weeks searching on the wrong days or times and get nothing. That is wasted time and money. Now you are right where you started – in the dark – and you have a chunk of your savings wasted. Start keeping track every day of when your spouse leaves and returns. Start a calendar on your phone, on your computer, or on paper (just if you do the latter, PLEASE hide it well. If they find it, you may not be able to explain it away all that easily) and note when they “come and go” for everything they do. Do this for a few weeks. If you keep an accurate record, you will begin to notice a pattern that you may not have noticed before. This is the key to optimizing the results of your surveillance time and dollars. Do they work out? Do they have a long-standing poker game with the guys over in Lindenwood, or did one suddenly begin out of the blue? These are all things to put on the calendar.
Start noting what they wear. This may not seem like a big deal – and it may not be – but it can also be an indicator. If they always work out on Tuesdays and Fridays after work and they come home wearing street clothes or their gym clothes (which are usually all sweaty) are dry, note this on the calendar. If they are suddenly paying more attention to their appearance on certain days rather than others, note this as well. If your wife, who is usually a homebody that wears sweatpants and a ponytail with little makeup, suddenly starts wearing nice outfits, fixing her hair, and wearing makeup to go food shopping, you should note that on the calendar. These small changes, especially when they are limited to certain days, can be an indicator.
I had a case not too long ago in Floral Park where I followed a mechanic for a couple of weeks. I wasn’t having much luck until his wife started keeping track of every detail on a calendar. That is when she noticed a very small detail that helped me to know what day to follow him, and we caught him. She noticed that on Wednesdays, he would come home from work a half hour later. He always had the excuse of traffic which, if you are familiar with the traffic in New York City, can be an easy explanation on any given day. She noted that there was always “traffic” on Wednesday afternoon, but everything looked the same – the work clothes, the time, etc, except for one thing – his nails. You see, he worked on diesel engines, and his nails were always dirty when he came home. He would scrub them when he got home so as to not get grease all over the house. She began to notice that on Wednesdays – and Wednesdays only when he came home in his work clothes, his nails were clean. We began following him TO work on Wednesdays and stayed all day watching him. He went to work, as usual, and worked on the engines, as usual, which were all dirty as usual. But then he left two hours early. We followed him to a Mcdonald’s. He went inside with a bag. My husband (we were doing a two-person that day) followed him inside. The subject went into the restroom and proceeded to change into some nice casual clothes and scrub – you got it – his hands. Then he put the dirty clothes in the bag and left. I followed him to an apartment in Coney Island, and a pretty woman met him at the door with a very much not platonic kiss before they went inside. He left a couple of hours later and quickly stopped at Dunkin Donuts to change back into his work clothes and headed home. He did this again the next Wednesday, and we had him. All because the wife took my advice and wrote every detail on that calendar.
Recent photos of your partner and their vehicle are also very helpful. Also, please remember to let us know if they have more than one vehicle. We had a case once where we were following a guy and found out that he owned three different vehicles (after the fact) and that two of them were Pontiac Grand Ams! First of all, who owns one Grand Am anymore, let alone two!! You need to make sure that you give the PI all information on all vehicles and a recent photo. This is also important. We had a case in Jamaica once where we had to follow someone in a black Honda Accord. They did not have the plate number, but we found what we thought was the black Accord parked in front of the residence. Turns out it was not the right one. We found out later that the correct one had some damage to the bumper that happened two months prior. So recent photos are important for vehicles as much as the subject.
On the topic of photos of the person, we need to follow – try to supply us with both a current body and a face shot if possible. We can work with what we have to, but if all you give us is an Instagram glam shot of your wife from an event 10 years ago and now it’s 10 years, 40 pounds, and 2 kids later, chances are she may look a touch different if you catch my drift. The easier you make it for the PI, the better results you will get in return.
Also, if you have the address of the places they work or visit frequently, that is a big help as well. Emails and phone numbers also help when doing a social media search. Many times we have come up with other emails and numbers that the spouse did not even know about. So any information is helpful.
So, to sum up, the best way to catch a cheater, the two most important things to do are: First, start that calendar and second, hire us. When you have kept notes for a few weeks, let us know, and we can begin.
Investigreat, LLC is a recognized full service Private Investigation Agency that is fully licensed, insured and bonded, handling cases all over Connecticut as well as Queens NY, Brooklyn NY, Bronx NY, New York City, Staten Island and Long Island NY. Terri, along with her husband Adam, have been working cases for Legal Teams, Insurance Companies, Private Businesses, Municipalities, School Systems and general investigation services for the public since 1992.
Investigreat, LLC | Private Investigators serving Connecticut, Long Island City, Jamaica NY, Brooklyn NY and Queens NY | Office Numbers: 860-899-1710 or 718-412-1845 | Text: 718-309-1269