Allow me to paint a picture for you that you may be all too familiar with. You are sitting alone in your beautiful home in Greenwich, CT. Your hard-working husband is off making money in New York City and often works late. As you get dinner ready for the children, you remember that you forgot to tell him about that family function in Darien CT next week and you don’t want him to schedule any more “weekend meetings” or “business trips” that seem to be coming up a lot all of a sudden. You try to reach him on his cell, but he doesn’t answer. You check “find my phone” and discover that his location is not coming up in the city, but rather in Danbury, CT. That doesn’t make sense. His office is in Manhattan. Why would he be in Danbury?
You wait until he gets home – and it is very late. You ask him how his day went. “Busy” is all he says. You ask him if he was able to get out at all. His answer is “No, I was stuck in the office all day. Why do you ask?” You respond with “just curious, I tried to call you and you didn’t pick up.” “I was busy.” He responds again. “I was trying to let you know about my cousin’s birthday party next Saturday” to which he replies, “I’m not going to have time. I have a big project and I will have to be at work all weekend. In fact, the CEO said I could stay at his place so I don’t have to travel back and forth and can make the deadline.” He then announces that he is exhausted and is going to bed. No eye contact, no kiss good night – he just leaves to go upstairs to bed.
So what do you do? Something is not adding up. Something in your gut is telling you that he is not telling the truth. In 25 years at this company, they have never made him work through the weekend and especially never offered to have him “crash at their place” so he could work more hours.
Now you start to wonder. Is this the truth, or is he up to something? You can’t sleep that night. You lie awake listening to him snore softly, wondering what is going on. Wondering if you want to know what is going on. You are literally lying right next to him, and yet, you have never felt so alone. You finally get up and go downstairs to his home office and sit down at the computer. You start Googling things like “How to tell if your husband is cheating,” “How to know when your husband is lying,” “How to know if someone is having an affair.” You don’t know what to do. Who to turn to.
We understand what you are going through. We have handled hundreds and hundreds of infidelity cases all over Connecticut and New York City. We’ve followed suspected cheaters all over Fairfield County. From Stratford to Stamford, Norwalk to New Canaan, Bridgeport to Bethel we’ve just about seen and heard it all. We know the signs to look for as well. Often we are asked what they should be looking for. Here are a few things that may indicate that your spouse may be up to no good. This goes for men AND women:
- He’s being very protective of his cell phone – does he suddenly get calls and texts and go in the other room? Does he take his phone into the bathroom with him? Did he change the passcode on his phone and won’t tell you what it is?
- He’s changed the password on his computer – when he’s online, does he lock the screen when he leaves so you can’t see what he’s doing? Does he seem to “block” what he is doing when you come in? Have you caught him on the computer late at night when you are supposedly asleep and when he sees you, he shuts it right off right away? When you come in and ask what he is doing, does he never give you a straight answer?
- She’s changed her look. For years your wife has had the same basic “look” and you are fine with that. It’s what makes her “her”. Then one day you get home from work and she is wearing all new clothes. She starts updating her wardrobe (especially her “undergarments”) and she looks great. She gets a new hairstyle. She starts wearing more makeup. You assume this is for you, but she seems much less interested in you suddenly and more in some new friend you’ve never met. It seems like she visits them all the time now. You’ve never met this person, but you already know you don’t like them.
- Is she suddenly working late or on weekends? She never used to do this. She was usually home before you were – dinner on the table when you walked in. Now the house is dark and all you have is a Chinese food menu that delivers and a text that says she’ll be home late again…something came up at the office.
- You have gotten into a bit of a rut in the bedroom lately. He used to be the one to “initiate” all the time. Now he seems to avoid being intimate altogether. You try and he apologizes and says he’s not feeling well. This happens a few times. Is he cheating or does he need a doctor? You guess by the way he acts in the morning when the kids are around that it’s not his health that is the issue.
- She used to come home from work, eat dinner with you and watch the History Channel while snacking on Doritos. Now she showers as soon as she gets home and is nibbling on celery sticks before going on the elliptical for an hour – sometimes more. Who showers before they work out anyway? How does that make sense? She doesn’t even come near you when she gets home. She works in an office, not the sewers. It just doesn’t add up.
- He’s taken up running. He runs to the office, he runs from family functions, he runs to business meetings and business trips, runs away from you in the bedroom, he runs to a “friend” all the time so he doesn’t have time to be “alone” with you anymore.
- You almost never used to fight. But now every little thing starts a fight. She seems to especially do it right before bed. It’s like she’s looking for an excuse not to be intimate. She seems to always have a problem with something you do or worse, bring up things from the past when they don’t have anything to complain about now. It’s like she’s looking for reasons to be annoyed with you.
These are just a few of the many things that should alert you that something is wrong with your relationship. Sometimes, when you have been with someone for a long time, you can pick up on things that are even more subtle. Did he change the cologne that he’s used since college? Did she suddenly start working out, but when she returns in the same clothes, she hasn’t even broken a sweat? Is he gone for long periods of time and does not want to share where he’s been? Have you caught them in one too many lies?
When these things start happening, we want to help. Working with a Private Investigative team, especially a husband and wife team, has many benefits. The number one benefit is that one of our specialties are cheating cases. We have been doing them together for years and can tell just by the body motions if they are “guilty or not” depending on how they carry themselves. Another big benefit of choosing us is that we are in both Connecticut and New York (primarily New York City) and have a great deal of experience with regards to successfully following someone in the city, whether by car, public transportation or on foot. We can start following them (i.e. surveillance) and see if he’s really working late or if he is actually “working” on someone else. We can see where she is going when she says she is “meeting a friend” and who that friend may be. We will go over their routine with you and pinpoint the most cost-effective way to obtain the truth. Once you have that, you can take back your life and your dignity and make the educated choices that are best for you. Don’t be left wondering what is going on. Find out the truth. Once you have that on your side, you will be the one to make the next move in your life. You deserve better than this! You’ve given this person the best years of your life and this is how they treat you? It’s time to do something about it. We want to help you find out the truth. All you need to do is ask.
Investigreat, LLC is a recognized full-service Private Investigation Agency that is fully licensed, insured and bonded, handling cases all over Connecticut as well as Queens NY, Brooklyn NY, Bronx NY, New York City, Staten Island and Long Island NY. Adam Dornfeld along with his wife, Terri have been working cases for Legal Teams, Insurance Companies, Private Businesses, Municipalities, School Systems and general investigation services for the public since 1992.
Investigreat, LLC | Private Investigators serving Jamaica NY, Brooklyn NY, Queens NY, Connecticut | Office: 718-412-1845 | Text: 718-309-1269