I can’t believe we have made it to Blog #55. In honor of that number, I would like to take a moment to reminisce about a case we had a couple of years ago when a woman hired us because she was worried about her husband, who had just turned 55.
Back before the “age of Covid”, we were handling a case in Bay Ridge, New York for a woman who was worried that her spouse was cheating on her (we’ll call him “Fred”). Fred was previously a homebody who did not go out much. Fred had recently made friends with a new guy at work (we’ll call him “Hank”). He would go out late at night with Hank and disappear for hours at a time. He wouldn’t tell her where he was going or what he was doing. When she asked him what was going on, Fred would be very vague and refused to tell her. That’s when she thought the worst and called us.
We found out all the particulars about Fred as we do in all of our surveillance cases. We knew his car, where he worked, etc. The client provided photos of Fred and said that he would typically meet up with Hank on Friday nights, although she had yet to meet Hank. Fred would disappear around 8:00 pm and not return until 4:00 am the next morning. He smelled of cigarettes and alcohol and sometimes perfume.
We went off, armed with the necessary information, and parked close enough to their home to watch for Fred to depart the area. Fred did not disappoint. He walked out of the house at 8:00 pm as predicted, walked to his car, and left the area. We followed him all the way to Wyckoff Heights where it began to rain heavily. We saw him pull up to a private home and saw a short figure wearing a raincoat with a hood come out and get into his car. They then left the area and continued on. They drove all the way to Forest Hills Gardens and we were feeling pretty confident that we were going to catch Fred red-handed with his mistress. The rain finally subsided just as we pulled up to a side street in Jamaica Queens. Fred parked his car and got out. We had our cameras ready and watched intently as the person in the raincoat exited the vehicle. Fred walked around to the other side of the car just as the person on the passenger’s side stood up and took off the raincoat as Fred watched. You can imagine our surprise when it was a guy, about 5 feet tall who was also in his 50s! We presumed it was the mysterious Hank. Hank tossed the raincoat into the back of the car and then the two walked down a couple of blocks, turned, and entered a rather seedy-looking strip club.
Turned out that Fred was not sneaking off with a woman. Instead, he was sneaking off with a buddy to watch a bunch of barely dressed women swinging on a pole for a few hours while drinking and reminiscing about the “good old days”. From the looks of the establishment and the men that were sitting at the bar, most of the men were all middle-aged, wearing wedding rings, and appeared to be “looking and not touching.” We jokingly commented that this particular strip club should have been renamed the “Mid-Life Crisis Club.”
We have been doing this for a lot of years and we’ve noticed that there seems to be an influx of people who seem to get the urge to “live life to the fullest before it’s too late” around the magical age of 55 (give or take a few years). Now some buy sports cars, some motorcycles, some take up extreme sports or hobbies. Some will also decide to “sew what is left of their wild oats” and “start looking for love in all the wrong places” as the song goes (if you’ve never heard of that song you’re too young to be reading this blog, so kindly move along to another one of our blogs instead if you’re too lost already to follow the point of this one. Nothing personal.) When that happens, bad things often follow. The year “55” seems to become more of a border that, once crossed, there is no turning back. It is the time that definitively seems to determine whether a couple will make it or not.
As the lyric in a more modern song says (and very well I might add) “the house won’t fall when the bones are good.” (Shout out to all the younger people that stuck with the article in spite of being way younger than 55.) At the 55 mark, unless you’re rich or a famous movie star (or both) a few things start to happen. Your once full house is now an empty nest as the kids grow up and move out. Instead of spending quality time together, you are now spending time taking care of elderly parents. This takes a toll on you physically as well – looks start to fade, reading glasses and hearing aids are suddenly on the verge of being necessities, some “performance issues” can start to happen in the bedroom, and going out to a club requires a 3-hour nap prior and several shots of espresso afterward to make it past 10 pm. Your marriage seems to be less about the sex and more about the emotional bond – that is, if “the bones are good.” But if they are not, then your spouse may develop a serious vision problem referred to as a “wandering eye” which, when left undiscovered for a long period of time can lead to irreconcilable damage and possibly divorce. Perhaps you are going through a tough time in your life, such as a serious illness or job loss. During hard times, relationships are truly tested. The good ones will turn to each other to get through it, the not-so-good relationships will turn away from each other and suddenly you find your spouse avoiding you in order to avoid what is happening. That is when the cheating starts.
When that happens, people call us to find out what is actually happening. Is your spouse out with “Hank” staring at but not touching practically naked women like a couple of high school kids, or are they off with one particular woman doing with them what they should be doing to you in the privacy of the home you both built together? You deserve to know what is going on. Take it from someone who is in the same age range, when you’re not too old to start over with the right person if the person you are with is not being faithful to you. You deserve to know if you should “love him or leave him” so to speak. We can help you find the answers so you can make an educated decision on what to do next. If you are one of the unfortunate “mid-lifers” whose marriage does not thrive at 55 but rather, has taken a nosedive, then give us a call. We are ready to jump right in and help, just as soon as I take a nap.
Investigreat, LLC is a recognized full service Private Investigation Agency that is fully licensed, insured and bonded, handling cases all over Connecticut as well as Queens NY, Brooklyn NY, Bronx NY, New York City, Staten Island and Long Island NY. Terri, along with her husband Adam, have been working cases for Legal Teams, Insurance Companies, Private Businesses, Municipalities, School Systems and general investigation services for the public since 1992.
Investigreat, LLC | Private Investigators serving Connecticut, Long Island City, Jamaica NY, Brooklyn NY and Queens NY | Office Numbers: 860-899-1710 or 718-412-1845 | Text: 718-309-1269